FARGO — When she learned she was pregnant, Paige Johnson, a college senior who had just started dating her boyfriend, panicked.
“All I could think was, ‘How do I erase the situation?’” she recalled. Then she remembered a pink sign she’d passed often on her way to class, right off University Drive and First Avenue North, which promised free ultrasounds.
“It was 8 p.m. on a Monday night when I called Women’s Care Center, and my appointment was right away the next morning,” Johnson said, explaining how a young staff member spent time with her, just letting her talk, without pressure. “Her wisdom and listening ear changed everything.”
At one point, she explained that Johnson’s life had already changed, and whatever she decided would remain with her forever. “That was like the glass of cold water thrown in your face,” she said. “I realized, ‘This is real, and it’s time to figure out what to do.’ Her words probably saved my baby’s life.”
Charlotte, her daughter, was born just a few weeks ago, and Johnson said she and her boyfriend, Luke Haldis, are absolutely in love with her.
Though they’re receiving support from family, in those first days when she was dealing with this decision alone, being able to think through options meant everything, Johnson said.
“They’re not there to push anything on you,” she emphasized. “Women’s Care Center allowed me to feel confident in the decision I made.”
Angela Wambach, executive director and a registered nurse, said most of their clients come in seeking the free and confidential pregnancy testing and ultrasounds. “We’re just here to love and support them and provide them with all the resources we can,” using the model of care of “meeting people where they’re at, and for who they are.”
“We want them to take time to process their own thoughts and feelings and ask questions,” she said, offering medically accurate information with the help of highly qualified, trained staff, including a medical director, a physician, who oversees their services.
Families can receive assistance until their children are 5, take pregnancy and parenting classes, and earn material assistance through keeping appointments, selecting necessities from a “store” filled with a plethora of donated items.
“We’re here primarily to help the moms and dads,” Wambach said, “but our secondary mission is to help create healthy and self-sufficient families.”
The center has begun construction on a second facility, with a spring opening planned. “A location in Moorhead has been on the back of our minds for years,” Wambach said, noting the growing need.
Watching young families go from crisis to confidence is the most fulfilling part of her job, she added, along with watching clients “build community with one another and with the staff.”
‘Bundle Up Your Baby Bump’ events
Kris Haycraft, who directs the Pregnancy Parenting and Adoption Services for Catholic Charities, has spearheaded 13 “Bundle Up Your Baby Bump” events so far, offering expectant parents and those with young families needed items free of charge without any stipulation.
The next event is slated for Nov. 9 at Trinity Elementary in West Fargo.
“It’s everything from bottles and clothes to highchairs and swings,” Haycraft said. Participants also receive a pack of baby wipes and, if needed, diapers, and can select items for school-aged children and maternity attire.
The last event brought in more than 400 participants.
“We focus on taking care of the whole person, valuing that life from conception to death,” Haycraft said. “This is one way to give back and say, ‘Thank you for choosing life.’”
Birthright in Moorhead offers resources for unplanned pregnancy as well, and both the Perry Center in Fargo and the St. Gianna and Pietro Molla Maternity Home in Warsaw, North Dakota, provide accommodations and more for expectant mothers needing extra support.
Post-abortion help
Additional ministries are meeting the mental, emotional and spiritual challenges that can emerge over time for post-abortive women.
Brittany Poppe, who hosts the successful “Does God Forgive Abortion?” podcast, became pregnant at 17, at a time she was still reeling from her father’s early death.
“Instead of leaning on my faith, I started to become kind of this fake person,” she said, living contrary to her Christian values — including having a secret relationship her mom opposed.
Poppe knew she couldn’t hide a pregnancy, however, and began to think of her own self-preservation, she said, seeking an abortion with the help of the Red River Women’s Clinic, and a judicial bypass law allowing underaged girls to obtain an abortion without parental input.
“My best friend’s older sister called me out of school the day of the abortion,” she said, to avoid the school calling her mom, who eventually did learn of the abortion. “It devastated her,” Poppe said. “She never met me with anger, just utter devastation at the loss of her grandchild. The government had taken that (parental) right from her.”
For a while, Poppe continued to live a risky life, engaging in unhealthy behaviors. “I had mental health issues and a lot of anger,” she said. But finally, her pain brought her back to church, and she was introduced to the “Forgiven and Set Free” Bible study addressing post-abortion trauma and healing, and rediscovered God’s love and mercy.
While she struggled to accept that God wouldn’t punish her through her marriage and subsequent two pregnancies, the study helped her learn about “God’s true character,” she said. “He never stopped loving me, and I’m so thankful to be able to fully understand what Jesus’ sacrifice meant for us.”
Poppe started her podcast, she said, to reach those who’ve suffered in secrecy.
“A lot of the people fighting the strongest for abortion to remain legal say that they’re compassionate and they want women to share their stories and to help lift other women,” Poppe said. “But when they hear my story, they don’t seem to want to lift me up or empower me. It makes me feel like my pain isn’t valuable because it doesn’t fit their narrative.”
We Are Everywhere ministry
Kay Keifer was the person who introduced Poppe to the post-abortion Bible study. “It’s estimated that, in the U.S., 1 in 4 women will have an abortion by age 45,” Kiefer said. “One statistic said that as many as 50,000 women a year will experience significant mental health impacts as a result of abortion.”
To address this, she founded the We Are Everywhere ministry. “I was meeting all these women — from small-business owners to pastor’s wives — who had stories similar to mine, with abortions in their past, and who deeply regretted them.”
Kiefer recognized a pressing need. “It struck a chord with me that post-abortive women who regret (their abortions) are everywhere, but we’re hidden in plain sight,” she said. “Nobody wants to talk about it…and yet that woman is often paralyzed into silence.”
Even the political conversation surrounding the topic can be triggering, Kiefer noted. “For a woman who can identify negative experiences as a result (of abortion), it’s torture to turn on the TV, or listen to what the arguments are.”
Her ministry carries “a message that flies in the face of conventional wisdom,” she said, addressing “a whole segment of the population that is hurting, often with no place to turn,” through a website, weareeverywhere.life, a newsletter with updated information, and a Facebook group bearing the same name.
The “complicated grief” post-abortive women often experience results from loss without the cultural construct to deal with it, such as when losing a loved one through war, Kiefer explained.
“Something’s missing. As with war oftentimes, you don’t have a body. You don’t have a burial,” she said.
Even women without a faith base understand that womanhood is about being life-giving, she added. “And when you act in a manner that is in opposition to who you are designed to be, it creates a lot of disharmony in your very spirit,” Kiefer said.
Both Kiefer and Poppe want hurting women to know they’re not alone and that there’s hope.
“I’m not proud of what I’ve done,” Poppe said, “But I’m thankful to realize that God can use everything, even my brokenness, for the good of his kingdom.”
If you go
What: “Bundle Up Your Baby Bump” event
When: 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., Saturday, Nov. 9
Where: Trinity Elementary School, 2811 Seventh St. E., West Fargo, North Dakota
Info: To volunteer or sponsor, contact Kris Haycraft at 701-561-8412 or khaycraft@catholiccharitiesnd.org. New or gently used children or baby items can be dropped off 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Thursdays or 8 a.m. to noon on Fridays at 5201 Bishops Blvd. S., Fargo.
[For the sake of having a repository for my newspaper columns and articles, I reprint them here, with permission, a week after their run date. The preceding ran in The Forum newspaper on Oct. 13, 2024.]
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