FARGO — Fred Rogers of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” TV show fame may have left our world, but an upcoming event to connect neighbor with neighbor will tap into his spirit.
“Mister Rogers was such a good role model for being a good neighbor, and treating people with kindness and fairness,” says Mary Jean Dehne, founder of Legacy Children’s Fund, or Legacy, explaining the theme for the upcoming “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” open house.
Legacy launched in 2012 to help immigrant children adjust to their new environment. While the nonprofit is officially listed as “a grassroots Fargo charity changing the lives of vulnerable youth, through personalized learning, service to our neighbors, and leadership skills,” more simply, as its website notes, it is “a unique bridge to create cross-cultural friendships.”
Creating those friendships will mark the theme of the upcoming community event, with various Fargo-area neighborhoods being visually represented, giving neighbors a chance to connect and commune.
“The crux of our work is all about relationship and resources,” Dehne says, noting that new families and students frequently express how difficult it can be to feel like part of our community.
“My grandparents, when they resettled, all the Norwegians hung out together, and it was difficult to bridge out and find ways to connect with others,” she says. “How do we get these groups of people together? They all want and hope for the same for their children.”
From student to leader
Mary Sims, a former student of the program, now works for the nonprofit as dean of students, building relationships with participants, teachers and parents.
“I’m in charge of setting up job careers, site visits, exposing the students to what’s in their community, and what’s to come post-high school,” Sims says, meeting with students at Legacy’s hub location in north Fargo after school to connect them with coaches, who help with homework, and organizing service projects.
“I started in the program myself in sixth grade, and continued through graduation,” says Sims, whose parents moved here from Sudan in 1999. She was born the following year. “I love working with kids, and wanted to leave an impact on the lives of the students. I know how big of a role it plays when you have a mentor to look up to and guide you through.”
Sims has been busy helping create backdrops of various Fargo-area neighborhoods with cardboard and paint, replicating real buildings in our community.
“We’ll have five different areas, and use those backdrops to give more of a ‘Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood’ feel, but even more like a Fargo feel,” she says.
While we can learn about other cultures from books, Sims says, “it’s a different feeling when it’s in person.” She encourages people, even the timid, to “take that step to be part of our community in a great way.” Opportunities will be given to sign up to mentor a young person, bring them to a community event, and other bridge-building ideas.
“We’re not asking for donations,” Dehne emphasizes. “You’re more than just your money. We value other qualities.” For example, making a welcome basket for a student, hosting a meal at your home, or teaching a talent, like cooking, she says. “Or even just sharing what you do for a living. Students are interested in learning about different careers in this area.”
Servant-leadership model
Nancy and Neil Jordheim have been involved with Legacy since its inception, initially because of Nancy’s connection with Dehne as her principal during her teaching days.
“Mary Jean was doing extensive tutoring, whatever the second-language kids needed to be successful in middle school,” Nancy says.
Eventually, she realized the need was greater than what was possible during school.
“She has a very contagious way of approaching you,” Neil says of Dehne’s enthusiasm. “And you just end up saying, ‘OK, what can I do to help?’ ”
While Nancy was an encourager and ideas-generator, Neil, a financial adviser, offered other gifts. Neither has served on the board, but rather, as “leaders on the side,” Nancy says.
Neil says he appreciates Dehne’s intentional focus on doing what is best for those she serves.
“Many of these kids are very vulnerable. They’re maybe from homes where they’re loved, but there aren’t enough financial resources to send them to camp and schools and do the things many other kids enjoy,” he says.
He’s found it rewarding to “watch these kids blossom into adulthood, to hear their excitement of graduating from high school, and wanting to go to college to be a doctor or a mechanic … to make something of themselves.”
Dehne’s servant-leadership style not only uplifts the students, he adds, but they are uplifting the community by giving back — through food-pantry volunteering, bicycle repairs, and other service work, in addition to their own learning.
“That’s something we desperately need,” he says. “New leaders to come out of the community to do the things a business or church can’t necessarily do, but other groups can band together and accomplish.”
Nancy offers: “I think we forget sometimes, as people who have lived in the Upper Midwest our whole lifetime, that everybody is new sometime, and being new is to be scared or maybe anxious or any of the kinds of things that cause us to go inward. This is an opportunity on both sides to reach out, and that, I think, is a real gift.”
Making the invisible visible
Over a decade into the project now, Dehne has been pleased with its growth, adding that children in need have also grown, and we’ve sometimes been too hesitant to respond as neighbors.
“Many people may feel invisible and disconnected,” she expressed in an email announcing the event. “It is time to make Fargo a more neighborly community.”
This sentiment is grounded not only in her humanity, but her faith. Dehne keeps Mark 10:13-16 near: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these,” a reminder that young people are our future and not to be excluded from being welcomed.
“I feel so wealthy because of the multicultural friends that I have,” Dehne says, her voice choking. “Who gets to have friends from Nepal and Sudan and Sierra Leone and Liberia and Somalia? Who gets to have those people in your life? I do!”
She adds, “Hands down, it’s the relationships with the families that have become a deep pocket of gold to me.”
It’s a gift she doesn’t want to keep to herself.
“People want to feel that they’re accepted and welcomed. That’s the real driving force for me in this project,” Dehne says, “and I just want the rest of my Fargo friends to experience this deep richness that I have been afforded in my life.”
Eleven years after she took a chance on a dream, Dehne says, “The nudge was from God, and it just never went away. It couldn’t be denied,” adding, “Everybody has a little something to give.”
And, as Dehne says, and Mister Rogers once sang, when we do give in friendship, “It’s such a good feeling, a very good feeling …”
If you go (this event is now past)
What: Legacy Children’s Fund “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” community event and open house, with appetizers and beverages, story time and live music
When: 5 to 7 p.m. Monday, Oct. 2
Where: Red River Valley Fairgrounds, Hartl Building, 1805 Main Ave. W., West Fargo
Why: To give the community a chance to connect with Legacy students in their neighborhoods
Online: https://legacychildrensfoundation.com/
[For the sake of having a repository for my newspaper columns and articles, I reprint them here, with permission, a week after their run date. The preceding ran in The Forum newspaper on Sept. 22, 2023.]
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