When Canadian band Rush’s drummer and songwriter Neil Peart died Jan. 7, our house heaved.
To offer a glimpse of my guitar-playing husband’s devotion, our first two pets – “Alex,” a yellow cat, and “Geddy,” a black cat – were named as a tribute to Rush’s blonde guitarist and dark-haired lead singer and bassist. We completed the trio by designating a cat statue near our fireplace “Neil.”
In April 1988, we attended our first Rush concert together, “Hold Your Fire,” an experience I detailed in a college music-theory paper. I was quickly drawn in, as much by the music as the lyrical cadences Peart pensively penned.
But at times, the words also troubled me. In “Roll the Bones,” Peart asks, and answers: “Why are we here? Because we’re here. Roll the bones.” We’re just arbitrary outcomes, he was suggesting, not God’s purposeful choices. The rest of the lyrics are much more poignant, but these sum up the self-admitting, non-religious mindset of the group.
The night we learned of Peart’s death from brain cancer, our family’s dinner conversation became a lamentation. Gently, I broached the question: Given his dismissiveness of God, did Peart reach the Pearly Gates?
We can’t know, but we can hope. My faith tradition’s practice of praying for the dead gives us one way. We believe our prayers for loved ones can be efficacious, even after death. God, who transcends space and time, alone knows the interior journey of each soul, including those who, for various reasons, didn’t embrace God’s existence in this life.
In a documentary on the band we watched together later that evening, we remembered the triumphs and tribulations the group experienced and endured. But as Peart, who’d tragically just lost his first wife and daughter, trekked cross-country on his motorcycle to heal, he seemed unable to pinpoint the divine hand in this restorative process.
And when the band talked about their emotional backstage embrace before the concert that launched their comeback after that dark time, realizing the “impossibility” of that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder if they recognized God’s grace, which makes the impossible possible.
We can only see what we can see, however, and I believe we’ll be surprised at the guest list of the eternal gathering in heaven. I’m hoping I’ll be on it, along with those I love. Certainly, my own life is the only one for which I’m fully culpable. But stories like Rush’s leave me restless. Theirs is an inspiring tale of grit and talent, of overcoming hard pasts and enlivening the lives of many. And while I appreciate their musical talent and energy, I worry at witnessing their worldly success without a nod to God, who brings all blessing.
I don’t believe our lives are randomly calculated like a roll of the dice. But God is merciful, and if there’s a musical show in heaven needing a drummer, it’s possible that, in God’s providence, Peart’s bones will not just roll, but rise. I pray that it might be so.
[For the sake of having a repository for my newspaper columns and articles, I reprint them here, with permission, a week after their run date. The preceding ran in The Forum newspaper on Feb. 16, 2020.]
Roxane, thank you for this thoughtful piece. I am a recent Greek Orthodox convert but a longtime fan of Rush. My parents grew up in the 80s and I discovered by dad’s “Chronicles” double CD in his collection one day. I remember being amazed at what I was hearing. Years later, my parents would take my brother and I to see Rush in Cleveland, not once, but twice. I hadn’t listened to Rush for a while but began to rediscover them when I heard about Neil’s departure from this life.
I, too, wonder where he is now. I think that many of us who believe in God wonder why others can’t see what we see, but we must remember that no one lives the same life. Neil may have encountered a crude caricature of the God we know, or perhaps the explanations he heard and/or books he read never quite got to the heart of an authentic Christian faith. However it happened, I don’t think that Neil remained, as he wrote, a “linear thinking agnostic” because he found the idea of a higher power unrealistic or unbelievable, but because he never quite made sense of how it all works, how our world of suffering and misfortune is actually a good creation. Do any of us?
I agree with you. We will be surprised when we see who is embraced in the next life. A monk once said that Paradise for the non-believer may be like that for a blind man. Because their hearts were close to God, while that person remained far from God in thought and speech, they may feel the warm embrace of God’s love while not fully understanding its origin. We can only hope, pray, and act.
This is such a beautiful and thoughtful response. I’m so glad you found my piece and took time to share your thoughts. I’ll share them with my husband as well. What did you convert from and why? I have a great respect for the Orthodox. (We are Latin rite Catholics.) Of course we can pray for Neil’s soul even now. God indeed knows every aspect of our heart and every moment of what has shaped us. May his mercy for us all be generous. God bless you!
I just so happened to run across this article on a Google search, and decided I would leave my thoughts.
Really just a few points:
1. First, I hope it’s not too late to leave a comment for the author of this little article.
2. Because you’ve been a Rush fan since 1988, kudos on having great taste in music.
3. You are probably a trinitarian Christian and identify with orthodoxy, passed down from the Catholic Church 1700 years ago. I would like to strongly encourage you to go down the rabbit hole and research the pagan mythology that Christianity is derived from, and also discover how the Council of Nicaea and Synod of Hippo have arbitrarily created the religion you now see today as gospel truth in order to perpetuate the power of the Roman Empire.
4. I am not sure how much you know about Neil’s religious beliefs, but he has spoken on this topic a number of times over the decades. He would describe himself as a romantic agnostic. This means he reads up and entertains the philosophies of many religions and tries to incorporate best practices into his own life, although he never claimed to be a disciple of any. From what I can tell, he lived a more exemplary life as a Christian without even being one. So you have to ask yourself what would really matter to God—the claim to Christianity or the deeds that are commensurate with what Christianity purports. I’d bet on the ladder 11 times out of 10.
5. Although you seem orthodox in your religious beliefs, You were not dogmatic in this write-up, and you did well to give Neil the benefit of the doubt as well as properly identify the attributes of love and mercy to God, which is a very accurate portrayal.
In short, I think you will be very surprised to find what the afterlife holds for all of us. Religion does very little to give us the truth about the essence of our soul and being. Not only am I confident that Neil’s soul lives on, I also believe that he is transcending to the next stage of his spiritual evolution with heightened consciousness.
As a side note, when the news broke, I certainly felt a shadow across my heart. But I told myself right then and there that I am going to be more glad he was born and did so much than sad to see him go. How many of us have such great talent and dreams? How many of us get to see the realization of them?
When you stand back and think, it’s very easy to see that Neil was blessed by God. Of course, it would have been better for him to live twenty more years and see his daughter grow up. But all in all, I think he completed his hero’s journey with valor and dignity, and left quite a legacy, just stand for his life. I am sure he is proud and he ought to be. I certainly am for him.
Hope you’re doing well. Rush on!
1. Not too late! Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you found my article. I think it’s one of my most read pieces.
2. Totally my husband’s doing. All credit to him!
3. Thanks for the nod to the rabbit hole. I will have to pass, however. I am Catholic and absolutely love my faith and Jesus. My husband too. So, I’m unlikely, at 55 now, to be swayed. It has absolutely given my life a beautiful purpose and meaning. Also, the pagan influences are of course there because Christianity “Christianized” the pagan world. It did not try to change everything about the world, but joined with it to meet people where they were/are at. But Jesus is the true God, and despite the human faults within, the Church is true and a holy God is at its center. Despite the corruption, despite the misunderstanding, I am deeply grateful for the gift of a Catholic/Christian faith and it’s my treasure, along with my family and life itself.
4. I don’t know a lot about his beliefs. My husband would know more. However, I will of course view everything from my worldview, even while seeking to understand that of others. But only to meet others where they’re at. I trust also that God knew Neil’s heart, and any obstacles that might have prevented him from seeing the full truth. We all see the truth only partially. In the end, Neil would have been privy to all of it, and would have accepted or denied. How we live our lives affects that ultimate choice. I would agree that what we claim and what we live are not the same, and all authentic Christians will be assessed on how they lived their faith. We are, perhaps, held to a higher standard. But we are all human, all sinners, and God knows the obstacles.
5. Thank you for seeing my heart here, even though we have a different framework for looking at faith. I am confident like you that Neil’s soul, and all our souls, lives on after death. There is much mystery about what that means.
Finally, thanks for sharing about your feelings regarding his death. Yes, it is always better to be born and have a chance at living. Absolutely! That is true whether we become as well known as Neil, or have a hidden life that few know about. It is certainly a gift to be able to live one’s dreams as Neil did. And we can celebrate that creativity and his gifts as having come from an eternal source, to which he responded. You can see that I believe, like you, that Neil was blessed by God.
Thanks for the great conversation, and blessings your way!
What a wonderful gift for today. I could identify so much with what you wrote. I was a fan since the early 80s and my first tour was Hold Your Fire. Your description of your family life reminded me of my children’s reactions to Neil’s death. They all (5)texted me and told me how sorry they were he died…as if I lost a close friend. My own grief mirrored this. That’s the very reason why I often think about whether his spirit is with Christ. I felt like a lost a friend.
I noticed how jaded Neil’s lyrics were in the 90s. Something changed in his spirit then and in the band. I could see it and sense it. By the time Test for Echo came out, Rush had lost me and I couldn’t relate to Neil’s lyrical content. Then his personal tragedies came and I often wondered whether he was going to survive the greif. As you pointed out, what a miracle it was for them to come together again.
The hope I have that Neil’s spirit is with Christ lies in his reaction to the “God thing” in a rolling stone article. He didn’t address the question directly but you could sense his anger becaue he said something to the effect of “don’t go there” The hope I found in this was you can’t be angry at something you don’t believe in.
I have learned that God’s forgiveness in Christ and his love is beyond something I can measure. Though I disagree with you about praying for the dead, I believe that there is a mystery in the concept of time that gives me great hope.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay. It touched my heart today.
Mike Harrigan
What a beautiful response! You made my day today, and I will definitely share this with my husband. I loved this: “The hope I found in this was you can’t be angry at something you don’t believe in.” And this: “Though I disagree with you about praying for the dead, I believe that there is a mystery in the concept of time that gives me great hope.” Yes, God is outside of time. That brings hope to me as well. I think we are very close in our thinking. Thanks again for reaching out! XOXO