Oh boy. Well, I’m going to tell it as plainly as possible, including the facts as others have purported them, and also as I experienced them. Because this has gotten a little wild.
Let me start at the end as it was Thursday afternoon. A screenshot was posted on Facebook sometime Wednesday I assume, and set to “public.”
As you just saw, there are two women in the photo — one in a skirt, one in a hat — and a police officer. One woman is me; the other is not. Those who know me know I’m the woman on the right.
Here’s where things get wonky. In the thread below the post, one person verbally indicts me as a criminal, guilty of a federal crime. As I shared some of the details of this with my boys over lunch yesterday, they looked at me in disbelief. For one, they were there. For two, they know me pretty well. For three, huh? See it below for yourself.
To be fair, note the clarification within the post that backs off a bit from making me an all-out criminal. In essence, well, it’s not REALLY like that. I mean she’s a monster but…
So that was the perception, based on a fuzzy assumption. Here’s what I in fact experienced that day.
Toward the end of my time on sidewalk Wednesday late morning, the police showed up. It wasn’t long after that we had to leave because three boys I know well were eyeing me and giving me gestures indicating our time there had ended. Our plans for a pizza lunch hovering, their growling stomachs demanded a change in location.
But first, the police. There were two, and they got out of their cars and began moving in my general direction. But it soon became clear I was not their target. Another women near me was of interest. I talked briefly with the police during that time. I initiated it. It’s something a friend modeled for me and I’ve never forgotten it. Always take time to thank those who serve.
“Thank you for your service,” I said. “We appreciate all that you do to protect us.”
“You’re welcome,” the officer said in turn, and then began asking the woman in the skirt some questions.
This is the moment captured on camera, I assume by the Red River Women’s Clinic where we’d gathered to pray. On Wednesday, I shared about another moment right before that point.
For those who have accused me in the last 24 hours of doing other things besides praying out there on the sidewalk, I need to qualify a few things myself. I have written several posts sharing the rest of what we do and how we try to reach the women in other ways besides our prayers. When we see women coming toward the facility, we try to share literature if there’s a chance (see Wednesday’s post) to make sure they have all the information for such a big decision at their disposal. Often it is hard to get near them, but we try. We know that women have turned back before. We know many won’t, but we are there to offer that one last chance to choose life. We know these women need help and we know where the resources are. We know they need love and support and we’d love to guide them toward that. Our post-abortive friends have encouraged us to be that witness they wish they’d have had.
So yes, we do try to talk to the women when we can. There are times things are said that we wish would not have been said. We cannot control every utterance from either side. Mistakes are made by each; we are all human. But by and large, those who come faithfully to pray (and talk to the women or men when possible) have good intentions and don’t want to make things worse for the women.
That’s what I was doing that day, in between those decades of Rosary. And I was actually glad to see the officers. If anything, it makes us feel safer, too, knowing they are there, and respond. There are times I’ve felt we’ve needed that protection as well. And I don’t mind when they remind us of the law. It’s good to keep all of that in mind when things get tense. We are not trying to break the law. We are just trying to save lives if possible.
I think what happened here is that I was assumed by some to be the woman in the skirt. So the story went in that direction, with some of the escorts and others remarking that the police had scolded me for my behavior, when that didn’t happen at all. If it did happen, I wasn’t there. I was eating pizza with my sons when this pretend encounter took place.
Anyway, that’s the scoop! Thanks for all of your prayers, and I’d love to pray for any concerns you have. We’re all in this together..
[UPDATE: Not long after I wrote and scheduled this post, the public post that had been shared, and which was the focus of this one, was removed from public view. However, I’d already taken screenshots in order to create this post, so evidence of the misinformation remains for readers to ponder.]
Q4U: What is your prayer concern or private intention? I’d love to help carry it to God with you.
I hardly have words… I’m very much in awe of your courage and ability to withstand the conflict and extreme “wonkiness” of this whole thing. For me, I tend to retreat and withdraw and so I greatly admire those who continue to stand up! Love and prayers to you!
The prayers of others bring courage, Vicky. Thank you for yours.
This is so sad. If someone was truly hurt that’s horrible but I’m sure charges would have been made and someone arrested as cameras are always rolling. As it is, poor Roxane gets her band drug in the mud for “breaking federal law” when she’s clearly standing by the curb away from the building in this photograph.
I’ve been down there and had an escort yell for me to “let someone through” when I wasn’t even between the door and the girl…
I understand that people get emotional about abortion, we should, it’s a big issue with lots at stake. BUT I have no idea what making inflammatory comments does to help stem fear for women who desire access to the building.
As long as lives are being lost and/or hurt people will be present praying for hope for all involved.
Thanks Marissa. Yes, you’re right. There’s a lot at stake. I would love to not have to think about this issue and not spend another hour on the sidewalk. But with the voices of post-abortive friends and others who’ve worked in and left the abortion industry echoing in my mind and heart, I don’t see how I can look the other way. By the way, any worker who does want to leave can get help through Abby Johnson’s ministry, And Then There Were None. http://abortionworker.com/
Bridget J. writes today, June 17: “Roxane, Do you read your Bible? Do you know that you are going against God by praying in public? Matthew 6:5 ‘And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.’ Perhaps maybe you should obey your Lord & pray in your own home privately instead of on the sidewalk.”
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Bridget. This is a common contention and we’ve heard it a lot when we’re out there on the sidewalk. But it’s an example of how easily we can take Scripture out of context. In another passage, 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, we read, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” So how do we reconcile the two? Is one right and the other wrong? Does the Bible contradict itself? Not if you read the Bible comprehensively, and in context. Without going into a long, theological discussion, which I don’t think is merited for our purposes here, let me just say that prayer is a very natural expression for those who believe in God. It is the way that we communicate with God. And we do this all the time, in many different ways. Sometimes, it is in public, and sometimes, in private. The passage you mentioned warns us to be careful not to pray out loud for the wrong reasons. If we are doing it just to call attention to ourselves, it is the wrong reason. If we are doing it out of love for God and others, because we are crying out to our God for an injustice to be righted, that is a different thing altogether. And throughout time and history, you will find examples of people praying out loud and in public places for all kinds of different reasons. If our hearts are in the right place, then that is what matters. We are certainly not praying for show on the sidewalk. We are praying out of solidarity and support for the women and the babies and also, for the workers, who also need our prayers. We pray, too, for ourselves, that we would keep our eyes, hearts and minds on God, whom we need in all situations, and who has the capacity to bring good to all situations and who redeems us all. We are all sinners, all in need of prayer. Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts, in part so I could clarify our true intent.
“A concerned citizen” writes today, June 17: “I’m really confused as to why you feel you’re entitled to talk to and/or counsel women about their private medical decisions? If they seek you out, that’s one thing – have at it, but trying to get access to women who aren’t asking for your input is a bit much. The great thing about our country is people can seek out information and make choices that work for them. I’d like to remind you that this is a legal choice they’re making after considering their options. So please stop acting like all of the women who come to the clinic are clueless that other choices exist and need your guidance and information. Because honey, they’ve considered those too. Praying on the public sidewalk is one thing, but trying to force yourself into other people’s lives is just rude.”
Thanks “A concerned citizen.” Yes, we do indeed realize abortion is a legal decision. Roe v. Wade made it so. There are other laws that have been made throughout history, determined by human beings, that were proclaimed legal at one time, and later, as people became enlightened, those laws were changed. Slavery is one example, and there are many others. So, abortion is legal currently (but has not always been), but the question becomes, is abortion moral? Is it right? Lawful does not necessarily mean moral. Many people have bought into the idea that because something is legal, it is also right, but as we saw with the slavery example, this isn’t always true. As medical advancements happen, more people are seeing the reality of abortion for what it really is. We are seeing just how early the human being becomes a human being. The “it’s just clump of cells” response no longer works. We are also seeing the effects of abortion. It can be a tremendously damaging procedure, physically, psychologically, mentally and spiritually. We have many examples of this, too, and so it would be imprudent, and actually unjust, in light of that to ignore the pleas of those who have experienced abortion and been damaged by it and for us to not discern carefully whether it is right and good, not only for one woman, but for society as a whole. Many things have been done throughout the history of the world that had negative implications for society, and in most of those cases, people eventually rose up and spoke out, and society was changed for the better. Those of us who come to the sidewalk to pray and try to reach the women do so because we see abortion as unjust. It damages one life, and ends another. We have learned this from the experiences of our post-abortive friends. And so we cannot stand idly by and walk away to the burger joint next door without our conscience being bothered. The thing is, though, we are not judging the women. We are trying to warn them, because often, the decision is made under duress, and without a full array of support. The pro-choice faction claims to be about choice. We agree women need to hear about all the choices and hear about them honestly and fairly. We are not convinced most women who come to the RRWC downtown Fargo have been given all the choices and are truly free to choose. That concerns us, and that is why we take time to go there when we are able on Wednesdays. Our post-abortive friends have asked us to do this, and we cannot turn away, because of them and what they have experienced. For more stories about what really goes on in abortion clinics, see former abortion worker Abby Johnson’s newest book, “The Walls Are Talking.” https://www.amazon.com/Walls-Are-Talking-Abortion-Workers/dp/1586177974