If Brittany Maynard follows the plans she announced to the world weeks ago, she will die this weekend.
I’m not sure if Brittany realizes the date she chose for her death, Nov. 2, marks the celebration of All Soul’s Day; a day when Christians pray for the dead. In that way, her choice seems ironically fitting. She has needed and will continue to need our prayers.
Brittany’s story is heart-wrenching by all accounts. A beautiful, successful, young woman overcome with a deadly brain tumor, glioblastoma, she was given six months to live.
Rather than face more suffering and force loved ones to experience her difficult demise, Brittany relocated with her husband from California to Oregon, where euthanasia is legal.
I find the reality of this chilling. The plan was to celebrate her husband’s life on his Oct. 30 birthday and a few days after the party, end her own by ingesting a lethal drug.
The 29-year-old announced Thursday in a YouTube video that she was considering delaying the ending her life for now because, “I still feel good enough, and I still have enough joy – and I still laugh and smile with my friends and my family enough – that it doesn’t seem like the right time right now.”
Many found Brittany’s decision to end her life heroic and have made her a poster girl for assisted suicide. But others, like me, see her as having fallen prey to a culture that dismisses the sanctity of life and the redemptive value of suffering.
Fervent prayers were sent up by some of the latter, hoping she would change her mind. Those who grieve her decision have been told we have no right; we haven’t stood in her shoes.
While I don’t know what it’s like to be a victim of cancer, I do know what it’s like to love those dying of it, and I passionately believe that every day more is of infinite value.
The desire to escape suffering is very human. Those applauding Brittany’s choice identify strongly with that part of us wanting to avoid pain. I understand this and sympathize with Brittany.
But as a moral person, I cannot approach any situation without passing it through the lens of faith.
How does God see the situation? Firstly, God sees Brittany as a beautiful and unrepeatable soul whose value doesn’t come from a perfect exterior but from within.
We can know God’s thoughts on the matter, at least through the Christian perspective, in remembering that Jesus allowed himself to suffer out of love for us, even knowing it would be painful.
Brittany’s mother, Debbie, told CBS that she would have been honored to care for her daughter, even changing her diaper if it came to that, but Brittany said her mother is just too selfless to admit she doesn’t want to see her suffer another day.
Seeing it through her mother’s eyes helps bring clarity. While a natural death could mean another day or more of suffering, it also means one more day of being able to love her daughter through her suffering.
I’ve stood at the deathbed of a friend’s cancer-filled body, fallen to my knees in anguish, and gathered the courage to stand up again to spend that last day with her and other friends and family, massaging her feet, singing to her and praying her into the next life.
I wouldn’t have given up that day, nor the weeks and months that preceded it, for anything. Without it, the loss would have been even more profound. I am still learning from and will always be grateful for those ending days with her.
There is a peace that comes from doing things on God’s terms. As the author of life, God alone should determine when our lives end.
Consider the word “compassion.” In Latin, compassion means “to suffer with.” Though hard, suffering bears fruit. Sadly, Brittany’s final message says just the opposite.
In taking her life, Brittany denied herself all the moments, hours and days of love that she could have received in that time, and others the chance to bestow love on her. She thwarted the opportunity for her dear ones to grow through being at her side in her natural, final days.
It might be hard to see this without faith, but I’m disturbed that even the faithful have been divided on this issue.
Perhaps another look at compassion and what it truly means can shed light on this difficult topic and encourage those promoting euthanasia to see that true compassion would never lead to untimely death.
Our society has done Brittany wrong by not having taught this well enough.
Sadly, Brittany is no longer with us, and we are left to sort through how to address similar scenarios. Will we choose the truly compassionate and loving route or not?
[For the sake of having a repository for my newspaper columns and articles, and allowing a second chance for those who missed them the first time, I reprint them here, with permission. The above ran in The Forum newspaper on Nov. 1, 2014. Updated to reflect the reality that Brittany did follow through with her original plan.]
Brittany did take her life in Oregon, I live across the Columbia River in Washington state, the first state to approve of doctor assisted suicide..I could not do it! My husbands family are holocaust survivors and Jewish, Polish they suffered but would never ever take their lives..I was raised Roman Catholic it is a sin, but who can judge this woman who is suffering so very much, not I only the good Lord can judge her indeed..I wished their was a cure for her disease and they could help her in her tremendous suffering..I know God will take her to Heaven I truly believe that but I don’t think people realize what this does to others suffering they want to end it all! They need relief from their suffering some kind of help but not doctor assisted suicide with the pills and all..Life is so sacred how can one do that I say let GOD take you not you take your own life, it is very controversial but Dereck Humphrey who wrote that book about ending one’s life illustrates when some nut thinks it is oky doky to end one’s life he wrote about how to do it, how shameful..Life is to be revered not written about how to end’s one life..God is the only one that really can take one’s life not man! my opinion where is our references to the sanctity of life, if we are permitted to end it all when suffering? I don’t get it and never will…
Dear Anonymous, thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. I used to live in Washington, so am familiar with the area where you live, and have traveled along the Columbia River and the George. Beautiful! What you say is true and the example of the Holocaust and how veraciously we cling to life is so true. It is not natural to want to end one’s life. Mental illness and fear can bring people to this conclusion, but those with moral underpinnings may have a chance, and with the support of hospice and loved ones, it would be a better environment for them to choose life and die with dignity that way. The organization Brittany spoke for was formerly The Hemlock Society. That says much. They changed their name, I’m sure, to appeal to more people, appearing compassionate when helping people die is anything but. Have you heard about Belgium’s situation, where assistant suicide is widespread? I will post an article I recently came across on the subject. It’s horrifying. The latest move is to pass laws to make it okay to euthanize children who disabled. Not okay! A final point. No, we cannot judge anyone’s hearts. That goes to God alone. But we can judge actions. We do all the time, and we must. If we didn’t judge actions, there would be no law. We would live in a lawless land. Think about it. It’s okay to judge a wrong action. Those who “judge” Brittany’s decision to take her life are being human and moral. Those who feel it was okay are also judging her; judging that she did the right thing. It goes both ways.
Here’s the link to the article I mentioned above: http://www.cbc-network.org/2013/11/belgiums-culture-of-death/ You can find it by Googling “Belgium’s Culture of Death.