Several weeks ago, as I looked over my deeply spotted “to do” list, I was gripped with a feeling of suffocation. Seeing only thin slivers of space in between one obligation to the next, I knew I was in trouble.
One day at a time, remember Roxane. Just do one thing, then move on to the next.
The thing is, the obligations were all positive and good. I am being abundantly blessed at this juncture. But lack of white space is still and always a red flag for me, and I knew I needed to make some kind of consolatory move.
Staring again at the schedule, I searched for a day when the white spaces would widen for the first time and hold promise of an exhale of some proportion, and I wrote it right into my list on that day two weeks out:
May 7: “Breathe.”
Well that day is today, and wow does it feel good to finally have this moment to feel the blessings of the past month or so, beginning with the whirlwind bus trip to NYC with my daughter’s high school choir, moving into my youngest son’s Confirmation, First Eucharist and 9th birthday, followed quickly by Easter and a visit from my mom, which was followed by a visit from our in-laws and moved soon into an author visit at Standing Rock Reservation, which poured straight into singing for an anniversary celebration for St. Gianna’s Maternity Home, which led to work on a big, looming project, which spilled into yesterday, when I stood before a room full of beautiful ladies and, in essence, gave my faith testimony, then enjoyed with them lemon cake and a fun style show. (I didn’t even mention my weekly newspaper deadlines…)
In all of this, I did have a chance to steal away to the monastery where I go for reprieve and, usually, work.
This time around, I was hunkered down the whole time, working on my presentation and other projects. But there were spaces to pause, including after dinner, when the sunset lured me into a momentary place of mesmerizing magic, and at Mass in the mornings, after which I stopped long enough to take in the menagerie of bird songs and allow their chorus and cadences to soothe my soul.
Here’s a snippet so you, too, can be refreshed, especially in the event you may also have forgotten what breathing feels like. You have to be still and turn up the volume to get the full effect. You have to breathe in order to absorb the blessing of it.
Thank God for the duties in our lives that keep us moving from one thing to the next. And thank God, too, for the white spaces that allow us to restore and ready for the next round.
Q4U: How is your breathing going about now?