Without knowing the context, the utterance might have seemed something akin to codependency or self-abuse:
Such was the prayer suggested recently at a luncheon gathering for Christian business leaders in our community; a monthly event called Power Lunch.
The pastor wasn’t insane. He was making an important point about life and what’s important. Specifically, he was talking about having a clear vision for what we’re to do with our time here, and where one acquires this vision.
“Vision is the most potent weapon in a leader’s arsenal,” he said. To further make his point, he asked attendants if any of them knew what happened inside Billy Graham before he began his great crusades. To the Catholic audience of today, I would ask: What happened in the life of Karol Józef Wojtyła before he was named Pope?
Then he went back even further, using Moses’ life as an illustration to remind us of the defining points in his earthly journey providing him vision. Though some might think it all started with the burning bush, he said, the stirrings began well before that, specifically when Moses witnessed the beating of a Jew by an Egyptian, and later, two Hebrews in a violent fight with one another. These were the visuals that spurred Moses to action; the moments in which, the pastor said, “he was taken to the edge of his own emotional limits.”
Moses’ spirit was stirred, and the great leadership that would characterize his life was set in motion.
Exodus 3:7 points to these stirrings as seen from God’s vantage point: “The Lord said, ‘I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering.'”
“What frustrates the character and nature of God? This is the energy that leads to leadership,” the pastor explained. It is out of necessity that we act. “There are things in our lives which absolutely wreck us, and we can’t stand idly by!”
Thus, the prayer in which we turn to God and ask Him to show us…what breaks His heart. For those are the things that must also break ours if we’re to do what we’re meant to do in this life. Once we see things as God does — once our heart is similarly broken — we must not just proclaim the Gospel, but live it out. “I want to be someone who is authentic…even if it hurts,” the pastor said.
Do we dare pray this prayer? It’s a dangerous one, he warned. But when we ask this in earnest — that our heart would be broken over the things that breaks God’s heart — our lives will be transformed. We will see things more clearly, live our lives more purposefully.
“What are the things that drive you crazy?” the pastor asked. “Is God calling you to do something about it?”
He then asked us to pause and list all the things that get our goats. I mean, really bug us. Not just annoy, but bring us to our knees. I wrote down ten things that break my heart. Now, I have to figure out how to narrow down the variables and do what I can do to create change.
In that discernment period, the pastor said, we may need to ask God another difficult thing: that He would “thaw our numbness to see and feel what He is leading us to.”
Which leads me to this: if anyone has ever said living as an authentic Christian is easy, I’d love to know what rock they crawled out of. Living the Christian life is far from easy. It is a daily surrender, a constant climb with a million slips along the way, and it is the Way of the Broken Heart.
But you know what? I’d rather have my heart broken a million times over than live a sterile life of numbness, inaction and regret.
Q4U: What breaks your heart deeply enough to call you to action?
Saumya says
This summer, I met a woman my age in Africa who was 8 months pregnant and had not eaten in 2 days. I cried while we spoke. But there are tiny heartbreaks too: rude comments, snubbed gestures.
Christina says
What a beautiful reflection, Roxanne. The pastor’s words really make you think.
This week my heart was broken when I mentioned to someone that I was a Catholic, and the woman replied, “I was raised Catholic” to let me know she “understood” what I was talking about. Why so many who say, “I was raised Catholic” …and then what? Such brokenness calls us on to heal and forgive the wounds, and welcome back home those who have fallen adrift.
Roxane B. Salonen says
Saumya, you were in Africa? I can imagine how hard it must have been to have seen that and not been able to do much, other than to extend your heart. Perhaps this will be a defining moment of some sort for you? And yes, those smaller heartbreaks matter, too. Those are the ones we can use to develop even more compassion, I think, knowing that when we’re the recipient, it hurts, and we’d like to not inflict the same on others. Thanks so much for popping by today. 🙂
Roxane B. Salonen says
Christina, I just found your comment. Yes, this is a heart-breaker. Been there, done that, am trying to be a bridge between those two worlds. I once was lost myself, but now am found, and I thank God everyday for His illuminations. I want others to know the joy I have in my heart, and that, yes, the joy comes from finding Jesus in the Catholic Church. That is my hope and my life! So happy to have a fellow traveler to smile with and encourage. 🙂
Christina says
Wow, Roxane! I didn’t know that. Your story gives me so much hope!
Roxane B. Salonen says
Christina, I should clarify that I never really fully left the Church, but I wandered away for a while, or just didn’t heartily embrace the gift of it like I do now, thank God. 🙂 I am so happy He was patient with me!
Jonas Bundy says
Roxane,
Thanks for sharing your reflections from Pastor Bill’s message. I’m encouraged to see how God is using His Message to to further His Kingdom in Fargo and beyond!
– Jonas
Roxane B. Salonen says
Jonas, thank YOU! 🙂 It was a powerful message; they always are. I’m happy to pass on anything that resonates and shines light on love. 🙂