For the past several months, I’ve been in frequent touch with a non-believer; someone who considers herself an atheist, or more precisely, a naturalist. Her worldview is focused on science and what can be observed and understood through earthly means.
Our paths first crossed after my 13-year-old daughter had made the comment that it takes a wider leap of faith to believe there isn’t a God than to believe God exists. I ended up blogging about that, and inadvertently met my new friend. We’ve been sending email messages back and forth on an almost-weekly basis ever since.
I know not every Christian would dare step into this terrain. And I wouldn’t recommend it for just anyone. Of course, we all have the right to share and talk about our faith, but going head to head with someone skilled in debating such things is not for the faint of heart. Thanks be to God, my heart and soul are very strong right now and I feel capable and willing to do this. I’ve been given what I need to enter into this relationship with courage, conviction and compassion (perhaps the most important of the three). It’s not always easy. Some of our conversations have left me utterly frustrated, and I know she feels the same. But most of the time the opposite is true, and I’ve felt blessed by our encounters.
Recently, one of my Christian friends said it would be very hard for her to be in such a conversation; that she doesn’t feel the need to have to defend her faith to anyone. As I said earlier, I don’t think everyone is cut out for this. For some, it would be a waste of time and energy. And it’s possible I will get to a point at which it will begin to feel too burdensome, and that I’m taking too much time away from other important things. But for now, I’m drawn to the conversation, even on the tougher days, because I sense that God is in all of it, and that He’ll let me know when and whether enough is enough. I have no expectations of what will come of our conversations other than the feeling that I’m in the right place right now.
For the time being, I feel fortunate to have had a chance to really work on finding common ground with someone whose belief system is so very different from my own. And believe it or not, we have found quite a bit of sameness. We are the same age and we are both sensitive yet convicted people. We examine life thoughtfully and try to be earnest about making the right choices based on our respective views.
Recently, I came across a line in the book I’m reading of Edith Stein’s (St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross) personal letters. Among her gifts, Edith was a spiritual mentor to many, and in the middle of a letter in which she is responding to the faith questions of one of her fellow religious sisters, she says, “It is good when you ask me questions. I think only in response to challenges. Otherwise my mind rests. But I am glad when it is given a nudge and can be useful to someone.” (Edith Stein: Self-Portrait in Letters, p. 319).
As she does so often, St. Teresa mimics my own heart here. In my current conversation with my non-believing friend, one of the benefits to me has been keeping my views sharp, but there’s also a small strain of hope that someday my friend will be able to see God with her heart. For both of these reasons, I will continue reaching across the abyss for as long as I’m able.
Q4U: When have you reached across an abyss, and what was the result?
Thank you for the wonderful and thoughtful reflection. The world can truly become a more beautiful place when we speak the truth in love, steadfastly believing, and yet, doing as Christ did – offering the invitation, not judging people on where they’re at, but offering a hand of friendship on the journey. So glad to read this today – I’m still hurting over what might have been a similar conversation, where I didn’t feel the grace and peace going into it – just fear, unrest, and a desire to ‘convert’ the other. Your post brings much peace! Thanks!
I think that God welcomes questions, and that we have in our hearts a need to search out the truth. The spirit is present. Does it matter what it’s called?
First, let me say I am a new follower from Catholic Mothers Online, please stop by and return the favor.
Second, I always wonder how to “do” this, reach across an invisible line that separartes. When I speak with my husband about this he laughs because I make it too hard, too formal. He says, “You live it,” that’s how.
For example, I was asking how I become more involved in the pro-life movement. He said you take all the kids to the store with you, and you show th ejoys of life by being a joyful life.
My sister has recently returned to the Church, through the example of my children she says.
Laura, I’m so happy you were able to gain from my words. Thanks for sharing!
Mary, yes, questions are good and healthy and should never end. It’s a life-long journey to be sure!
Jenny, welcome! I think your husband is very smart! It’s so simple and yet sometimes we forget that our example can be the biggest statement of all. Of course, that comes with responsibility, but the more we draw to Christ in all we do, the easier it will become to emanate light. So fun to meet you and I’ll head over to your blog now!
I’ve had both the privilege and challenge of conversations with non-believers as well as believers of other denominations over the past several years. I personally love them because they stretch me and challenge me to come up with answers to questions that I’d never before considered. (Growing up a cradle Catholic I sometimes have gaps in my knowledge since I’ve just taken certain things on faith!) I’ve learned a lot about my faith through the questions that others ask me, and have done some great research digging for solid responses. What the impact was for them I’m not exactly sure, but even just trying to ignite some spark I feel is work worth doing. But you’re absolutely right-it’s not for everyone and you must feel up to the challenge before delving in! I’ve love to hear more about how this goes for you in the future!