[The following column was printed in The Forum, North Dakota’s largest daily newspaper, on March 8, 2011. Reprinted with permission.]
At first, our roles were reversed. My 13-year-old daughter would plead her case, and I’d roll my eyes, even poke fun at her.
“What is it about Justin Bieber?” I’d say, probing how today’s hottest teen pop superstar could possibly be a match for the allure of Shaun Cassidy in 1977.
But lately, I’ve been singing a different tune.
The transformation took place during parent-teacher conferences after I’d mentioned my daughter’s obsession over the baby-faced singer. Her teacher’s response caught me off guard. “Oh, I think it’s great. It’s so safe, after all,” she said with maternal assurance.
It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that Justin could be providing a distraction from real-life threats of premature love. What if my daughter’s “crush” on an unattainable subject was allowing her more time to work on her interior development while giving her someday-prince time to work on his maturity?
Suddenly, Bieber Fever made sense.
Part of our job as parents is to help guide our children to the right “someday” mate. Better to encourage an elusive alternative than a real-life, premature romance that’s likely to end in heartache or – worse yet – responsibilities our children are too young to accept.
So with renewed enthusiasm, I responded positively to my daughter’s phone text reading, “MOM, PLS BUY SOME TICKETS 4 NVR SAY NVR B 4 IT SELLS OUT!”
Several frustrating glitches occurred as I attempted to purchase online tickets for opening night of Justin’s new movie, but I knew what was at stake: a fun night for my daughter and more time for me to not have to worry about real dating.
By early evening, she and her girlfriends were dressed to the nines and ready to experience Dream Boat Justin on the big screen.
I texted the next day to ask if she’d enjoyed the movie. “BEST 2 HRS OF MY LIFE!” she replied.
I’m glad to have found a way to work the Justin Bieber thing to my advantage. At this point, he’s still fairly wholesome, and even better, far, far away.
Perhaps the only thing left to impress upon my daughter is a truth that keeps tugging at me even as she gushes over Justin: that she, not he, is the real sparkling jewel.
I say this not because I think she’s “all that.” I know her flaws and strengths better than anyone, as well as what is most likely to drive her future husband crazy, for better and worse. I say it because I’m her mother and she’s far more precious in my eyes than Justin ever could be.
As such, I also know it’s in her best interest to take her sweet time finding her future spouse.
True love will come eventually. For now, I shout out with the rest of the world’s teen girls, “I love you, Justin Bieber!”
Roxane B. Salonen works as a freelance writer and children’s author in Fargo, where she and her husband, Troy, parent five children. She blogs on family life at http://peacegardenmama.areavoices.com and http://roxanesalonen.blogspot.com/
Oh I love this! My husband and I were just speaking of Justin the other night and wondering if he will still be around when our girls are old enough to like a pop star. We decided that with all the options our there, we too would be ok with JB. He is still wholesome. I like your thoughts though about it being safe and saving her from having those young feelings about someone she could make a mistake with.
I LOVE your parenting posts.
Blessings,
Holly
Just saw your comment — you sure know how to make a gal feel good. See what a light you are. 🙂 Thanks for your sweet thoughts, and affirmation on the Justin thing.
What a savvy mom you are! (Not to mention a great blogger!)
Awww, this is a sweet article! My 10-year-old niece looooves Justin Bieber. It’s so funny hearing her and her friends talk about how they’re going to marry him. Brings me back to when I was a pre-teen and young teen! Fun times. 🙂
I enjoy your column so much and its always worth a re-read here! Because of the haircut my oldest sports these days, he is often called “Bieber,” and as much as he won’t own up to it, he won’t cut his hair either 🙂
Isn’t it such a blessing that our friends are there with the perspective shift we need, right when we need it? Love your insight and how you share your parenting triumphs! Blessings to you!
Every teen needs a heart-throb teen idol. For the most part, it’s harmless crush and a reason to get dressed to the nines and go out with a girl friend. I still swoon over certain movie stars.