It was a cold winter’s night…
My friend Marie and I had gathered at a lovely local restaurant to toast to our fellow blogger-mama-writer friend, Emilie Lemmons, who left our world on Christmas Eve 2008. Emilie would have been 43 on January 16.
Last year, Marie and I drove four hours to the Twin Cities to meet up with a group of Emilie’s friends at a restaurant where they’d celebrated her 40th with her just a few years prior. It was a beautiful experience of friends old and new gathered to honor the life of one who lived life well and purposefully. But for Marie and I, the travelers from afar, it included a few glitches, too. On our last day of the trip, Marie’s Tom-Tom led us astray and we found ourselves lost in St. Paul. After a few urgent petitions to the heavens, terse words with “Tom-Tom” and finally agreeing to rely on intuition, we did reach our destination, the Cathedral of St. Paul, only 15 minutes late for Mass. That was the first of a few mishaps during our return trip, but all this served to flavor our adventure, make it more real, more memorable.
As the photo at the top indicates, this year, too, the celebratory evening began peacefully, sublimely, even, as we admired the winter wonderland at our backs: the snowy banks of the Red River, the dim light illuminating deer tracks below, snow-heavy tree branches.
When our waitress announced her name — Emily — we smiled knowingly at one another. All was well and as it should have been, we knew right then. Enjoying a shared meal of scallops and broiled walleye, we finished it off with warm coffee and cream. It was a nice evening of catching up on the challenges and joys of our lives.
But the night wouldn’t have been complete without something out of the ordinary occurring, and the first sign was when we paused for a hug in the parking lot and, as I clicked my remote key, heard no response. Dead battery. What to do? It took a little bit of scraping off ice to open the hood to Marie’s car, and acrobatics in my van in an effort to access the jumper cables in the trunk without ready access to it (the key hole was iced over). But eventually, things began to turn around.
“Remember, positive to positive, negative to negative,” my husband reminded me during a quick call home. Just when we were about to give up due to a tightly locked cable cover, I was able to pull it free, exposing the connecting spot that promised to liberate me. As Marie clamped the final cable to her battery, sparks flew briefly and immediately my van alarm began to sound. We both jumped as the “Wonk! Wonk! Wonk! Wonk!”sounded. “It’s alive!!” Laughing, we couldn’t help but feel triumphant at what had taken place. Though we’d almost run inside the restaurant to summon the help of a strong male type, it wasn’t necessary. Marie and I had gotten things running again all on our own. We celebrated with High-5s and a few photos so that we wouldn’t soon forget the power of determination — a trait Emilie greatly admired.
“Now I know Emilie is with us!” Marie said.
Indeed. If not for the run-down battery fiasco, I might have second-guessed it. But as of last year’s trip, we’ve come to associate our remembrances of our writer friend as incomplete without some sort of mishap occurring. Having gotten the sign, our evening was complete. We’d been properly assured that Emilie was near, giggling with us from her new, and likely much warmer, perch.
Q4U: What made you feel empowered recently?
Oh, I love those moments when I do something that’s supposed to be in the male domain–start a car, fix an electrical appliance, install something. 🙂
But my moment of empowerment today was working out. I haven’t done it in too long–months. I’m going to start taking better care of my physical self, and *that* makes me feel empowered.
How things happen and why… What a remarkable post you have given us today Roxane! And I love how your friend Emilie is so rich and present in death as much as life. What an honor to her and how beautiful it is to see her celebrated still. To touch so many lives is a gift and she continues to give this gift.
And the Supreme Giver of all gifts is at the heart of it all!
Glad you got that car started too!!
What has made me feel empowered today? I have done some long overdue cleaning and I feel as if a weight has lifted. I am grateful for the day off to do some more, but I am taking a little blog break. So glad that I did!
Oh man! Roxane, I have to hand it to you. I hope I never have to experience your snow kind of events ever again. I lived it too many years of my early life.
Rosslyn and Fran, those are both great moments of empowerment too — working out and getting things around the house tidied up. Hard to put in motion sometimes but worth it to feel the lightness. 🙂 Anon, so you’ve escaped the cold, eh? Good for you. We’ll offer up our suffering for you. Hee hee.
Oh, this makes me happy! Looks like you two had a wonderful night honoring Emilie’s feisty, infectious spirit. Love it!
Oh, Erika and I had to use the jumper cables a couple years back on my van. Just as we connected them, I said, “Clear.” We cheered and breathed a sigh of relief that we didn’t make anything explode. I wrote her an email about it, called it “The jumper cable blues.” I need to share that some time.
Glad you felt empowered and had a friend to share the moment.
I feel empowered every day by what I am doing as a single mom.
What a tribute to the life of Emilie…Your jumper cable story reminded me of an incident my 15 yr old daughter had last week. I was at work and she called me to tell me that she was “iced out of her car.” I told her that she would have to wait until her dad or brother could help her, than I called the school to inform that she would be late. She phoned me 30 minutes later and told me she was on her way to school. I asked her if her dad/brother helped her get her car doors opened. She proudly exclaimed…”I did it myself. I tried, tried to get the doors opened…when nothing I tried worked, I kicked the door…that worked! I wish I would have thought of kicking it sooner!”
Roxane,
I couldn’t have told the story as eleoquently as you; thank you for sharing an amazing evening.
You know, I felt so empowered after the jumper cable fiasco, I asked Craig to teach me how to use the snow blower. So on Monday morning, I cleared the sidewalks and our driveways. What a great feeling!
Thanks again for another memorable evening. Emily was indeed with us, guiding us, and reminding us to laugh even when things are bumpy. I’m so grateful for our friendship.
Love,
Marie
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I’m so glad that you both got together to honor her. She definitely would have loved your empowerment!