Writing Wednesdays: The Social Networking Conundrum
I’m feeling conflicted these days about social networking – the same social networking I’ve lauded and felt endeared to and grateful for over the past couple years. I vacillate between wanting to remain inside this wonderful, vital-feeling loop and thinking that it wouldn’t matter much if I quietly backed away.
It all started with this blog, Peace Garden Mama, an endeavor I initially resisted but eventually came to love – both in terms of what I have been able to share as well as what has been shared back; that wonderful exchange I was not expecting in the beginning but have come to enjoy immensely. Next came Facebook, another component of social networking I entered hesitantly but soon came to appreciate for many of the reasons mentioned above. Lastly, Twitter, a third element which added yet another dimension of online exchange that has, at times, brought stimulating information and fun exchanges into my life, and has introduced me to an even more diverse online community.
I have enjoyed all three in varying degrees, and for the most part, have found a balance with them. But my recent social networking hiatus got me thinking about whether I should stay here long term. I keep hearing the voice of a wise friend, who reminded me early on in this journey that I am a busy mother of five and a professional writer who, perhaps, has better things to do with any trickle of free time than to blog or catch up on Facebook. While I understood his point at the time, I surmised privately that he didn’t really understand the value of blogging and social networking, both on a personal level and a professional one. We’d have to agree to disagree.
Mine wasn’t an illogical mindset. Agents and editors consistently tell authors that we need to build our platforms, our readership. Even when we don’t have a contracted work in the pipeline, we need to be preparing for that possibility. Social networking is the best way to do that, and it’s imperative in today’s publishing world, or so they say. And by and large, I’ve viewed all of this online activity as a pleasurable hobby as well as an important professional endeavor. It has not seemed like a chore, nor a waste of time. And yet, now that I’ve been at it a while, I do wonder on occasion whether it’s taking me away from other pursuits to which I’m being called.
Tonight, at the height of tossing all this around in preparation to write about the writing life, I read a post by Steve Laube, “Do You Facebook?” In it, Laube quotes an article from the UK that notes that Facebook users in Britain average three full days of Facebook use a year. I’d say that might even be on the slight side for some here in the U.S. Laube compares that duration with other activities that could be accomplished in the same time span: “In 72 hours a ‘nose-to-grindstone’ writer could produce 10,000 words on their next work-in-progress (that is about 1/2 page per hour). A motivated person could memorize the Constitution. An avid reader could consume at least six of their favorite books. Or a die-hard fan could watch all 158 episodes of the ‘Dick Van Dyke Show’ or all three seasons of ‘The Dog Whisperer with Cesar Milan’ and still have time left to walk Fido!”
It’s one thing for me to be pondering my time on social networking and its value, but seeing it spelled out like this by someone else makes me wonder all the more, Is it worth it?
Laube ends his post on an empowering but cautionary note, suggesting writers monitor their time online then ask themselves whether that time has been of benefit “personally, professionally, spiritually, emotionally, or otherwise,” and to use common sense and moderation.
As a writer, thinking up and writing blog posts is not hard; it’s a joy. I don’t think I’m ready to quit that altogether. As one new blogger/writer said to me a while back, “The blogosphere is the writer’s playland.” It’s true. This is the kind of thing we do well, so why not?
In a follow-up comment in his post, Laube said this: “Since social networking is something new it has become something ‘added.’ And if something is added, something is usually subtracted. My question is ‘what has been subtracted?’”
Aha! This, of course, is really the question we must ask ourselves and answer, and every writer will have a different response depending on individual circumstances. Personally, I haven’t settled the issue within myself just yet, and I don’t suspect I’ll come to a conclusive answer anytime soon. I imagine it will be a long process of discernment and could change each year, each month for that matter, depending on my family’s needs and other obligations. I doubt my discernment will result in a total pull-back, but it could mean occasional online breaks such as the one I just came from, just to help keep it all in perspective.
Have you found a balance with social networking? How have you dealt with the conflicting thoughts that come as a result of the question: “What has been subtracted?”
After you’ve left your response [insert subtle nudge], check out Nettie Harsock’s post, “You Might Be a Social Media Junkie If…” http://www.nettiehartsock.com/
Oh dear. A can of worms. Yes, I could be doing A LOT more with my time. I say that every single moment I’m on Facebook. As I sit here at 12:30am reading your blog because I saw it on FACEBOOK! Right now I could be sleeping. And at this particular time in my life, I could be the absolute most organized packer in the history of moving – i.e. I should be packing instead of wasting time on Facebook. Aside from packing, I could be reading books, I could be writing, I could play a couple rousing rounds of Candyland with my 5-year-old or reading books to the baby (all of which I do anyway). But I’ve learned that doing anything right now beyond the attention span of 5 minutes is IMPOSSIBLE because as a stay-at-home mom I’m in constant motion. The few minutes I have to steal, I check Facebook. Because, simply put, if not for Facebook, how would I keep up with all the people past and present in my life? Any mother knows how absolutely impossible it is to talk on the phone and/or carrying on a conversation with kids around. Facebook has become my social outlet. Life is pretty crazy with small kids, so getting together with other moms is a rare event. Catching up with people on Facebook means I don’t have to shower, I don’t have to clean my house, I don’t have to pack the kids up and drive anywhere. I can reach out for some signs of life – at my computer. (I kind of sound like a pathetic shut-in right now.) But any stay-at-home mom can relate to its isolating nature. (I’m not complaining one bit, I’m just sayin…) But that’s not to say that if I really want to catch up – a lengthy email and/or phone call are much more important (albeit more time-consuming.) Facebook will never replace human contact, nor should it. A few generations ago, stay-at-home moms passed the daytime hours smoking cigarettes, drinking wine or watching soap operas. I choose to pass time with Facebook it is cheaper and healthier. 🙂 Besides, once I’m online, I read the newspaper, Google strategies for dealing with my strong-willed child, look up recipes, etc. I do not apologize for the amount of time I spend on Facebook. Of course, anyone can come up with a billion other things to do than social networking and I can not disagree with them. But they are not living my life. I have no doubt that once my kids are older and more independent, my love affair with Facebook will diminish and I will move onto other mundane time-wasting activities. Like a job – ?! And/or perhaps I will write that great American novel. Or do something more socially responsible – like hold crack-addicted babies at the hospital. But, for now, this is me. A proud Facebook addict. It is what I got.
Roxane – The reason I am up past midnight my time is that I am pondering these questions myself, and they are troubling. I think that at *minimum,* I am going to start “unplugging” while my daughter is awake, using the internet only late at night and early in the morning. Then I’ll see what happens from there.
What would I be doing instead? I rarely watch tv anymore. I think there are lots of things that we “COULD” be doing. If I spend less time on the road I “COULD” be reading a book with my daughter. If I went to bed 15 minutes later every day I “COULD” use that time to find a cure for cancer. If I ate one less meal each week I “COULD” use that time to learn to fly a plane. There are lots of things we “COULD” do. The question is what “WOULD” we actually do with that time? Social networking has given me the chance to catch up with Lori, Kari and even you Roxanne. Even if it is just little tidbits of information about your day here and there. Sure, I think about the same things you do. I’ve been toying with the idea of shutting down my internet connection at home. There are times when I think Troy has the right idea. I could be using the time I spend on the internet to practice the guitar. The real question is “Would I”? Not every moment of our day “NEEDS” to be productive. Those “WASTEFUL” moments sometimes help us unwind and enjoy life. The trick is to determine when something crosses the line into addiction and to stop ourselves before it reaches that point. But that line is different for everyone.
Wow, Roxane! Very thought provoking post. I did read Steve’s post last week and felt conflicted about it. So many agents encourage the social networking. In fact one writer friend recently blogged that her agent told her she needed to get on twitter. Now after doing all of the above for a while, I can see the benefit. And at this point in my writing career, while the social networking takes a backseat to other writing endeavors, I still add it in as part of the job description, especially now that I’m contracted. Just like any other job has many facets to it, so does a writing career–and so, I’m trying to squeeze in the “phone calls and filing” now too! It’s getting harder to do part time, though!
What has been subtracted? That’s a powerful question indeed.
I was going to mention as you presented the statistics that if you weren’t networking would you actually spend all that time on writing to produce that word count. I think sometimes we writers need the break and the interaction that networking gives. If I didn’t get it in short snippets online, I’d likely be gone many more hours visiting or wandering the malls to get my needed interaction with real humans, not just my characters.
Moderation is the key, and watching what we’re giving up for networking.
Fantastic post. Thank Jody for directing me to it. i’ve yet to start Facebook for profesionals lol. I don’t really manage my friend based one either at the moment. I just signed onto twitter and I do see the huge benefit. I love feeling connected to the writing community, it’s such a blessing! BTW, I’m following you now, so good to meet you 😉
I find a lot of value in social networks, but I don’t automatically check them all day long. Especially if I’m in an insecure mood or feeling down, I try to stay away from FB and Twitter because they can unintentionally make me feel like an outsider. But most days, I make an effort to check in with FB and TW.
I have been asking myself these questions lately too. And like you, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is a necessity for a writer to help build our platform. The question for me, then, becomes how much is too much. Like you said, what else am I giving up? Definately something I need to monitor. Even too much of a good thing can be bad.
Wow, this was a great post. I only started blogging a few months ago and I can tell you exactly what I gave up to do it–writing time. I have 3 little kids so my writing time is limited and blogging definitely takes a chunk out of it. I cut back this month from blogging every day to just 2 or 3 times a week and reading my bloglist everyday to just once a week. It’s freed up a lot more time but I miss my blogging friends.
I think the relationships I’ve built are valuable and I feel, like Jody, that networking has become part of the job. My agent is submitting to editors right now and I know they are going to look at my blog and I don’t want it to be too neglected when they do.
It’s a difficult balance though because I really want more time to work on my manuscript.
Anyway, thanks for the post, it was very thought provoking. I’m going to follow you now 🙂
Hmmmm…..
The sole purpose of Facebook for me was to try to reconnect with some people I rarely get to see because of distance issues. Once I found them and were were set up I was checking in once a week or so.
Then…..I realized that there were tons of peeps out there that were finding me and reconnecting.
I’m not the most sociable person. I like people…but I really value my alone time. So Facebook has become a way for me to reconnect and stay connected on terms that ‘work’ for me.
Twitter….is fun for posting small little tidbits and on the go pictures…but I barely use it. Other than it’s hooked to my Facebook and I can post things to there easily. Which is nice…but I rarely use it. So….I can take it or leave it. But for now….I’ll take it. Because it may become useful in the near future.
My Blog…..it serves a two fold process. Let’s me connect to people on my own terms. It also really gives me a creative outlet. I also have to say as a totally unexpected outcome…I really really enjoy the ‘blog community’ that I belong to.
But in my heart…I blog for myself first and foremost. And it has opened up the world for me in wonderful ways.
Facebook, Twitter and my Blog…..are services for myself….I’m not a slave to them. And I certainly do not feel like I ‘have’ to do any of them. So I guess I’m not an ‘addict’ yet.
And as far as reading other peoples blogs….I use the Google Reader….so that blog posts just come to my Google page and I can read them when I have time. And as you scroll down through they just automatically disappear. It’s like a daily blog newspaper with all my subscriptions in one place. Unfortunately you can not comment from that page…but hopefully soon we will be able to.
As far as a marketing tool…..that’s going to be up to someone else to chime in. But I will say that I do follow several fiction writers daily blogs…and the ones that I like…….are the ones that really just open up. Like regular old blogs….not a marketing machine. They have a good mix of ‘work’, life, quotes, photos….hilarious daily antidotes about being a mum, writer, wife, husband…whatever. Mostly they are posting short stuff. Occasional long posts. But they are really letting people get in….or at least it seems like they are….they are fiction writers after all….so who really knows.
I hear you, Roxane. I really do. Last night it occurred to me what makes me hesitant about FB and Twitter: it’s the feeling that being social is somehow a competitive sport. “How many followers do YOU have? Oh, well, I have more than that.” It feels, in some ways, like high school redux. I don’t want to go back there, frankly, and so have backed off the social media a bit.
Thanks for this thoughtful post. 🙂
These are awesome questions, Roxane — and honestly, I don’t have any wisdom to add :-0 I just appreciate you asking the questions!