A few bits of previously unmentioned business to tend to before I get to the main piece of my Monday post…
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15 in particular was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. If you know someone who has lost an infant or is pregnant right now, throw out a little prayer for them. And if you happen to live in the Fargo-Moorhead area and have been affected by infant loss at any stage, consider attending a special Mass of God’s Children at 7 p.m. on Thursday, October 22, at St. Anthony’s of Padua, Fargo.
Talking with Tanya. In association with the above, I’ll be talking with Tanya Watterud on the radio today, October 19, at Real Presence Radio (online) or 1280 AM locally, around 10 a.m. Central Time. If you’re not too busy at that time and have easy access, I hope you’ll listen. It was through experiencing infant loss in the same year that Tanya and I moved from being just colleagues to friends.
An October baby among us. My daughter, Olivia, was born this month, and today we are celebrating the 12th anniversary of her baptism.
Around the time of her birthday, I wrote a post about what it was like to be moving from “center stage mama” to “sidelines mama” within her pre-teen life. I’d said then, “Even as my presence begins to wane in apparent vibrancy, I know that all is well. I know that it means those pieces of myself I’ve been offering my children all this time are now becoming infused into who they are. The more I get out of the way, the more they can be who they are meant to be.” The other day, Olivia shared some writings of hers with me, and I couldn’t help but think of how wonderfully they exemplify what I was hinting at in that earlier posting. As I read her words, I quickly made the connection that this essay shows the in-progress infusion of parent-to-child I’d mentioned back then. Though this is her take on life, I hear myself in her words. I share this as an example of how, so long as we keep trying to do our best to guide our children, at some point we might just hear them echoing pieces of our vision of the world back.
Earth, The World, and Life
From what we know about the outside world it is beautiful. A little bit dangerous, unpredictable weather at some times, scary, vast, full of strangers…But most of all, it’s beautiful. Live your life with no regrets, and marvel at the smallest things.
It’s not some mistake that we ended up on this world; the life around us that we know of could end any second. At that second I want to be ready. I want to be ready, to be able to love and cherish God and Jesus in Heaven with my parents, family, and friends, and I want to be able to see those pearly gates and know that I will soon be entering my Life Everlasting.
The human mind is a miracle, but we are not advanced enough to understand how God just was. To believe we need to use our hearts, soul, and all the faith that we have. Go to church, pray, love all those who you meet, the nice ones to be around, and the other ones, too. Live your life with few mistakes, and the ones you make; learn from them.
Our time is short, and this beautiful, marvelous, spectacular place in which we live is…well it’s amazing! But we won’t always be here. It’s like a vacation. There’s good and bad times, and you can venture out into the unknown, but Heaven is a vacation while on vacation.
Furthermore, this life is a gift, but Heaven, Heaven is the big gift under the Christmas tree that you wait to open last so you can see the “big” surprise inside it. And this will be one gift that you won’t be disappointed with.
[My question for you: When have those you nurtured echoed back your vision of the world?]
Olivia is your beautiful little apple – not far from your tree of words. The final paragraph is amazing. The final gift is heaven, now that’s a glorious image!
Hi Roxane!
Often I catch glimpses of my children reflecting God’s work in them. I can see them maturing. But then there are times when they seem to walk more steps back than forward! I know I need to continue to be faithful to the task of teaching and training them and God will continue to work in their hearts! I have to remind myself that it’s not all up to me!
Jody, good clarification: though we are sometimes the vessels for good thoughts and teachings that sometimes flow into our children, God is the master author of them. Knowing our place in all of this is good for our souls. In that way, we can take credit for our everyday efforts but know that without God, grace and goodness are rendered impossible. That also means that if things don’t go perfectly in our mothering, we don’t have to feel like failures. We just need to acknowledge anew that we and our children are works in progress. 🙂 Mary, I loved that visual too, and don’t know that I’d thought of it quite that way before. In other words, my daughter taught me something through her writing. 🙂
Yes, great follow up points from you and Jody. My daughter is so young that, while I can see my influence in some ways, it’s really God’s beauty that she still reflects back into the world. I just hope I preserve that as much as I can!
Oh, that is the best kind of all, Rosslyn — beauty reflected back from merely existing, and through the innocence of childhood. We all can exude that beauty if we truly see whose we are. Thanks for the nice thought. I’m sure your daughter is beautiful!
Oh I love the part, “Heaven is a vacation while on vacation.” she must be one cool kid! Well done Olivia!! You should be bustin your buttons Mama! 🙂