st. ben’s day 3: coming up for air and light

August 10, 2009 – St. Benedict’s Monastery (11:30 p.m.)

I just lit this candle. It’s a signal to me that the time has come, at this late hour, to come up for air and light! After posting here, I’m going to spend a wee bit of time in prayer, and then maybe even read a bit before bed, if I can. It is so peaceful here at nighttime, and all times, really. I don’t miss the harried bedtime routine at all, but of course, I miss the kids and hubby and hope they’ve all had a great day. I received an email from brown-eyed girl; it was so nice. Everyone seems to be doing well, so that makes my time here even more pleasant.

What a productive day it’s been. My only breaks have been midday prayer and meals. That’s it. I’ve hardly even taken out time for snacks or drinks. My mission was to read my manuscript straight through, and edit, so that I could have that long-view look that more editing, shaping and an additional chapter will require. And I’ve accomplished that. (Deep breath)

There’s a reason for the push. One, my days are so limited here, and my motivation high. I want to use every hour of this time wisely. I also want to work hard enough to be able to justify a little playing. My friend, C, a scholar whose visit last year also collided with mine, wants to take in a movie tomorrow night, and I’m all for it. Since the dining hall is closed Tuesday nights anyway, that seemed like a perfect time to skip out for dinner and the cinema. I can’t wait! So, in order to allow myself to actually enjoy that treat, I knew I had to stick to my guns today.

One of the best things about being here is not having to think about mealtime. When I’m ready for it, it’s there. I know this is a luxury that will be short-lived, so I am cherishing every bit of it. At lunch today, we had a most delicious sausage and sauerkraut soup. Seriously, it was phenomenal. Dinner was roasted chicken, potatotes, and a divine chocolate cookie with chocolate chips.

So, I’ve been properly fed today, and met many goals, but sneaking out for exercise has not happened, short of the walking to and from the chapel and dining hall. I’ve learned in my life that I can only deal with one obsession at a time, and right now, writing is it, taking precedence over reading, even, and exercise for now. But it’s a small price to pay for achieving a goal.

My insights are low today. I’ve been too immersed in the work at hand. But know that this place is being very good to me, and I hope that my rants here will inspire you to seek out the same. It is worth finding time for yourself amidst the cluttered din of everyday life.

Peace to you in your tomorrow!

P.S. If any of you are questioning whether my kids are surviving without me, here’s a glimpse of how they’re faring. Yes, Grandma has done it again with the camera. Isn’t she amazing? Those smiles made me light right up, with or without a candle nearby.